There’s simply no getting around the fact that, once one has hung out in the Gamesphere, or indeed some of the liars out in the realworld, you can’t help but get the sense of disillusionment, disappointment, even anger or hatred on the part of lots of guys therein. Although ultimately counterproductive if left to its own devices, a bit of “culture shock” is to be expected for the AFC who experiences Game for the first time. We in the know liken the experience to the smash-hit movie The Matrix, where everything you thought you knew about life and the world was turned on its head. Its a powerful, and for many, harrowing experience that some do not recover from.
What I find a lot of Game-related venues fail to point out and/or emphasize anywhere near enough, is that it would be immensely helpful to Men when, upon learning the more uncomfortable aspects of Game and what truly turns Women on, that it all isn’t a one-way street-that Women have their own sets of challenges, both wrt us guys, and things that they have to deal with on and among their own, that never become a problem for us. And if we could see things from their point of view, it would not only take the sting out of a lot of our feelings of disillusionment and pain, it would also gives a degree of empathy for the ladies, because on so many levels, and in so many ways, they are as much slaves to their impulses as we are.
So, just off the top of my head, here’s a few things we guys should think about when:
1. We get shotdown and/or rejected by a Woman, commonly known in Game circles as the Bitch Shield. Because Males display and Females choose, a big part of a Man’s life will entail Rejection, and there’s no pretty or easy way to deal with it. Simply put, you gots to Man Up. No Man likes being rejected, but if you think the Masters of the Game don’t get rejected, you have got to be out of your ever-loving mind. These get more action because, simply put, they talk to more people than you. Its a simple numbers game, and sooner or later, the law of averages kicks in.
But what we don’t consider is, while we’re getting shotdown, Women aren’t in such an enviable position either when you think about it-a
good looking Woman can expect to get approached easily, what, 5, 6 times a week? And that’s not including ogling, stares and the like-in other words, she’s constantly being assessed as if she was a piece of meat. And because Women are, as a rule, more inclined to seek relationships than merely sex, do you realize how disheartening this can be and often is, to Women? This is why your approach, when you make one, has to be so very different from all the other jokers out there, because if you don’t you’ll just be seen as another mope who wants to get in her pants and then be out the door. Which brings me to the next point:
2. Women risk a helluva lot more than we do to have sex. For us guys, its wham, bam, thank you Ma’am, and we’re done. For Women, its a lot more involved than that. For us guys, bagging chicks left and right makes us a hero; for her, having a revolving door of lovers lowers her chances of landing a really good guy for the longhaul-we don’t have that sort of problem.
Then there’s the STDs. Women are much more susceptible to them than we are, and more likely to have life altering consequences as a result, too.
Then, of course there’s pregnancy, and if you’re just hooking up, the chances of a planned one aren’t high. So she’s faced with several choices, none of them great-either abort outright, have the child and raise it most likely alone, or put the child up for adoption. I know there’s a lot made about the Child Support Industry and so on, and for what its worth I am deepl sympathetic to those issues many guys raise, but the fact remains that for Women, this is something they have to constantly think about when they agree to lie down with a Man. It’s not something we ever have to give much thought to at all. And let’s not even get started on Rape. Yea, yea, I know all about false rape charges, believe you me, I’m totally with you on that. But the fact remains that Women still have to be on guard for such things a heck of a lot more than we do.
3. Recently, I wrote a post called Are You A Slob? It was aimed at getting guys to start taking stock of their own appearance, instead of constantly ragging on the ladies. Yea, a lot of them let themselves go, but a whole heck of a lot of guys do, too, and since we’re dealing with guys instead of Women here, the only people you can change is YOU.
Anyway, here’s something else to consider: taking the time to care about your own appearance will give you a newfound respect for what Women go through, I know for a fact it did for me. Case in point-last night I got a much-needed haircut. Took me about 2 hours of waiting before I got in the chair (we Black folks take our doos very seriously, LOL). Now, consider if I were a Woman and particularly a Black Woman-it would have easily taken me 4, 6 or 8 HOURS, IN THE CHAIR, before I would have gotten done. And unlike me, who at most might get his hair washed before being cut, Women have to deal with perms, relaxers, extensions, dying, twists, locs, braids, this, that, etc. For a Man, getting a cut is a chore; for a Woman, getting her hair done is an Odysessy.
Here’s something else to consider: a little while back I bought about 5 pair of jeans from the store. Took me all of about 20 minutes to get it done, because I know what I like, all I had to do was try em on for fit. Now, consider what a Woman has to deal with-first of all, their sizing scale is ridiculously complex because, unlike us guys, who have a much more uniform sizing scale thanks to the Civil War, this never happened for Women. Put that together with the ultra sensitivity of Women’s body images and so on, and a simple matter of a Woman buying one pair of jeans, let alone four or five, can be a day long thing. It’s not unusual for a Woman to end up exchanging a pair of jeans she thought would fit only to find out they’re too long, too high in the waist, not enough room in the thighs, big enough for her butt not the waist is also huge, etc, et al. We guys rarely encounter problems like this. And I’m talking about jeans here-don’t even get me started on dresses and other outfits.
4. While most guys go through a very painful and lonely time from their 20s up through their 30s in terms of sex and romance because unless they have wealth, status or Game, being younger often means having less sex, for Women its the reverse. They get mad attention in their latter teens all the way up to about mid 30s or so, early 40s at the most if they were blessed with great genes and they’ve taken care of themselves. After that though, its downhill for them, and the dropoff is sharp indeed. Think about it-how many Men are viewed as sexy well into their 40s? Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Brett Farve, Daniel Craig, R. Kelly, Jay-Z, Barack Obama? ALL of these Men, and many others, are at least 40 years old, and guess what?-the vast majority of them didn’t really hit their stride until AFTER they turned 30 at least.
Now, let’s consider similarly-aged Women: Janet Jackson, Helen Miren, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez. Most of the Women on this shortlist were consider certified hotties, yes? But NONE of them now are. They’re respected for their past works, yes. But how many guys can be heard pining away for any of them NOW? How many of them got more success after 30 than before? And how many of them are still widely desired after 40? See my point?
What lots of guys don’t get is that being shotdown is akin to being shot-its acute and “death” comes quickly. But for Women, being “shotdown” is like terminal cancer-its an inexorable slide that can be managed, but never overcome. She can delay it at best, and she should. But once the youth goes, so too does the beauty, and even in our age of amazing science, it can only go so far. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Wesley Snipes and many others have proven, that if a Man takes care of himself, he can and will enjoy quite a few ladies well into his 40s and beyond, because an older Man is quite sexy to most Women. But for Women, being over 40, even while she may still have a strong sexual drive, is a very difficult time of life to handle, as she’s not as desired as much as she once was, if at all. Hence the “strongarm tactics” many such Women employ out there today, aka the Cougars. In fact, I happen to know quite a few such Women, who are into porn and the like more than a lot of Men I know, they’re that hard up for Wood. I’ll speak on this more in due course.
5. Lots of guys are truly bitter at how so very often, Women will fall for the Lotharios of the world. Tru dat-but let’s be frank. How many of us guys are really caring about that Hottie’s inner beauty, let alone intelligence, moral fiber and familial upbringing we saw at the club or the mall? Hell to the naw, we concentratin’ on them thighs, that big ole booty, them banging’ boobies and that luscious face-we tryin’ to get to know her better because we want to HIT IT. The end-and don’t think other Women don’t know this, they most certainly do. Yea, go ahead, call em haters because they mad they ain’t as hot-the very same thing could be said of YOU by the gals you despise for hooking up with the modern day Lord Byrons. The bottomline here is that we can’t help being drawn to what we like, and there’s nothing good to come of complaining about it like a loser. The strong thing to do is recognize that no Man can or will appeal to everyone, and to simply move on to those Women who are attracted to us. Believe me, nothing’s worse than being a Woman who few guys want, because it is part of a Woman’s makeup to be desired.
Keeping this shortlist in mind when you go out there will go a long way to give you a sense of perspective wrt Women, to see them as flawed human beings just like the rest of us, respect for their humanity, empathy for the daily grind they have to put up with that in so many ways, we simply don’t. Remember: those who tend to do best with Women, do so because they take the time to truly understand them.
I’m just sayin’.
Now adjourn your horny asses.
The Obsidian
47 Comments
Ah, precisely. Bless you, O.
A good hunter chases his target accurately. The master hunter knows his prey, effortlessly coaxing it towards him (knowing its favourite food and its language) and fooling it into thinking he shall give his prey what is best for it.
The fact is a beta can learn Game and change his dating market value by leaps if he puts in the effort.
Women are limited in what they can do. Yes they can dress well, be feminine, kind, honest and respectable. Let’s face it though – it is not going to make you get asked out by loads more men. If you are a hottie you lucked out in the genes lottery.
Thankyou to our Host for at least acknoweging that women do not have so great all the time either.
BTW – I have a lot of sympathy for false rape charges (have a family member in this situation). I also have sympathy for real rape victims (they do exist) as I have personal experience here to. False rape claims damage the real victims as well as those they falsely accuse.
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Women are limited in what they can do.
They are… but so are men, ultimately.
But women always have a numeric advantage. Because on the dating market, girls 18-27 years old are sought by men 18-45 years old.
Keep the weight off, attend to the basics of “girl game,” set your standards realistically, and you’ll do fine.
—————–
Aussie Girl makes a powerful point. It’s a lot easier for a guy to go from a Zero to a Hero than it is for a gal.
The Obsidian
Your best post on the blog so far.
A deeper point: Men need to realize that women have a mirror-image of men’s inner conflict.
Just as men both want many women and want to truly love a woman, women want both a man who is appealing to many women and to be truly special to a man.
And just as women are less likely to be truly special to a man who has access to many women (and some women need to consider that trade-off), a man who dedicates his effort to making himself have more mass appeal is going to be less able to do the things that make a woman feel special, or be able to identify or even attract the woman whom he could love.
Obsidian, I think one of the reasons why beta guys are upset at women going for the bad boys and the other alphas is because the women have the power to act on their desires and they don’t. Joe the gameless schmuck is not in a million years going to get the hottie, but his plain Jane counterpart CAN get the brooding alpha hunk, even if only as a second-string booty call. It’s envy, plain and simple.
Other then that, great post.
Is that your new catchphrase?
If like me you are trying to walk the path “from zero to hero,” losing weight is part of that, and you have medical insurance then see a doctor and ask if there is anything he or she can do to make that easier.
For instance, I’m diabetic, and my meds were adjusted to help me lose weight. I’m now down from 240 to 180 which was my doctor’s goal for me, but I’d like to go down another 10-15 pounds.
And if you have ED, don’t be embarrassed! It’s probably just some biochemical problem, and they now have pills for that.
(So much for stupid feminist shaming language.) Or maybe it’s some other problem that can be fixed like having other meds adjusted.
Ferdi,
Good comments. I think guys should stop hatin’ on the other guys who can get laid, because at the end of the day, it won’t change anything, and only will paint them as hatin’ losers. And hey, let’s face it-it’s easier to do that than get the hard business of making oneself a better guy. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know. It takes a lot of work to shop for the right clothes, trim down the pounds, etc, et al. And that’s not including learning Game fundamentals, reading literature past and present, and then…trying out all you’ve learned, and often the learning curve can be a bit rough. Is it any wonder so many guys get so frustrated?
But, it is what it is. We should focus on ourselves, because in the end its the only real thing we can do something about.
The Obsidian
“But for Women, being over 40, even while she may still have a strong sexual drive, is a very difficult time of life to handle, as she’s not as desired as much as she once was, if at all.”…………
I keep hearing this but I’m not seeing it.
All the women I know who are in their 40s and 50s who are not married, have no dearth of dates, and many times from younger men (within 10 years, usually).
In fact, I thought that was the norm in the United States until I read comments like your’s above.
Denzel looks dayum good for his age (black don’t crack), but I am utterly disappointed in Brad. I think his signs of aging are so shocking because he was such a pretty boy in his 20s. Right now, Angelina is looking way better than he is.
Set your standards realistically. And what does that mean? And what happens when those guys who are “realistically” your standard are holding out for hotties the see in porn?
PA there are many “not fat”, feminine women out there who are not hotties but who are unmarried and unhappy about it. What do you suggest they do?
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PA there are many “not fat”, feminine women out there who are not hotties but who are unmarried and unhappy about it. What do you suggest they do?
Meet guys 8-12 years older than them.
—————-
—————-
Realistic standards means finding a decent guy who is good looking enough and husband/father material, and of your religious and cultural background… and if he lacks in the alpha department (he may be made of good stuff, but many guys today are mis-educated) then guide him there with your feminine influence. Even tell him something like “it would help our relationship if you said STFU once in a while.”
And start a family with him. Children are a miracle.
—————————-
DADT,
Interesting that you should say that-because I was just watching “Huckabee” on Fox News Channel. He had one as one of his guests, Ann Jillian, the famous actress of the 80s who disclosed that she had breast cancer and had to have both breasts removed as a result.
I couldn’t recognize her, that’s how so very different she looked. She had gained considerable weight one, and while she wasn’t ugly, she had clearly aged. You mentioned Brad Pitt, but I’ll tell you this: put up Jillian today, next to Pitt today, and honestly assess who’s aged better. Now, true enough, Jillian dealt with breast cancer, but still, the years have NOT been kind, and I say this with all due respect. I have no axe to grind againt the lady, and think what she’s doing to help Women is a great thing, God bless her for it. But I gotta tell ya, when I saw her tonight on Huckabee, I was looking at a completely different Woman than I remembered in the 80s. Wow.
The Obsidian
Is it easier to:
a] be “successful” with women.
b] hire escorts.
c] kill many people.
Logically it is b], c] and a] in an ascending order of difficulty.
Why would a man care about the feelings and ‘nature’ of women, when there is nothing but exploitation, legal BS and contempt for him?
Would you play a game where you would lose over 95% of the time?
Also DADT,
Like I said in my leadoff post, I know loads of Women who are well over the age of 30, highly educated, gainfully employed, you name it, and are ALONE. Many of these Women are over 40, too. Anne Pasternak over in the UK wrote an article about this earlier this year. It’s not as unusual as you think. I just don’t see a big line forming of guys trying to get with Ann Jillian circa 2009. I could be wrong, but my direct observational experience doesn’t bear that out, and I’m a lifelong American, born and raised.
I’m just sayin.
The Obsidian
Obsidian,
A word of caution.. won’t repeat it.
The ‘loser’ guys currently just shoot and blow up other with conventional weapons.
It will not remain at the current level.. technology affects choices, possibilities and outcomes.
Either humans will have to evolve real fast, or our ape behavior + weapons + technology are going to create an explosive combination.
You know what, just looked up Jillian’s age-she was born in 1950. Pitt was born in 1963, a 13 year difference, and I want to be as fair as I can here.
So, like you said DADT, Denzel looks very good for his age, having been born in 1954-only four years younger than Jillian. Take a look at him when he did “Malcolm X” back in the early 90s. Then take a look when he did “Training Day” at the beginning of this decade. Finally, take a look at “The Taking Of Pelham 123″ which came out this year. Not a huge difference.
Of course, we have to factor in racial differences. Fair enough. What about Kevin Costner? He was born in 1955. And he looks good for a Man of his age.
All I’m saying is: if Costner was out on the market, and Jillian was out on the market, the former would be more likely to get action than the latter at this juncture in their lives. Back in the 80s, the reverse would have been true. Keep in mind, that while both had been in acting since the early 70s, Jillian achieved success sooner than Coster; she was already a household name when he was still getting the minor bit parts of movies and working odd jobs. His big breal came with The Untouchables, which was I think, 1987 or so? He would have been in his early 30s by then.
The Obsidian
Obs, why compare Brad with Jillian when the most obvious comparison would be to his own wife/partner. Angelina is aging better than Brad. Does she look so much worse than she did in her 20s? No. Jillian does. So what? Some people don’t age well. Not saying Brad looks “bad”, but he was such a pretty boy with that smooth milky skin, rosy cheeks and long blonde hair back in his 20s and well, look at him now.
Don’t even compare a black person (Denzel) to a white person (Jillian) in terms of aging. All other things being equal, the black person will most likely age better because of the melanin.
I also know women in their 30s who are single and never been married (some want to be, some don’t). However, the divorced women in their 40s and 50s that I know are dating, and dating well and often younger.
Like I said, it’s so common (where I live, at least) that I thought it was the norm in this country.
DADT,
OK, then. Where do you live? I live in Philly, spend lots of time in NJ and NYC, among other major cities along the Northeastern corridor. I’ve observed, closely, both Black and White Women, and I just don’t see many of them getting the kinds of action guys do over 40. I just. Don’t. Hit any club or bar where Women that age are, they are usually not getting hit on much by guys. And don’t get me wrong here, I don’t have a dog in the fight. Older Women don’t phase me much personally. But I’m just noting what I see out there. Sure, many Women claim to want to be alone. I think what they really mean by that is they don’t want to be bothered with most of the Men out there, if the right one, aka Alpha comes along, they’d be with it.
As for Pitt, I don’t think he’d have too much trouble hooking up with a considerably younger gal should things go splitsville between him and Jolie. Could Jillian score a guy Pitt’s age or younger, of comparable good looks, etc? To ask the question is to answer it.
I’m just sayin.
The Obsidian
Great post, especially Item #2 about risks women have to take. While it is true that The Pill has obviated the pregnancy risk to a considerable extent, it’s only been with us for about 50 years. That’s hardly enough time for female instincts, honed by evolution over thousands of years, to catch up.
O,
Solid post. The frustrated betas of the world want to act like everything is peaches n’ cream for women when it really isn’t, especially as time goes by. There is nothing in the world more frustrating than knowing that something is wrong with you and not being able to a thing about it.
Your post makes for an interesting segue way to into the rise of the so-called “cougars.” Some people would say that cougars come out of chemical changes in a woman’s body where her estrogen levels go down and her testosterone starts to have a bigger influence. The Roissys of the world would simply say that the declining physical appeal of a woman forces her to up her sluttiness just to get by. I’m inclined to think that both factors are involved, but the cougars are just setting themselves up for further heartbreak as they become pump-and-dump victims and no respectable men will take them seriously.
Ses,
Yea. What you just said.
The Obsidian
Sparks,
Yup-yup on both counts, both you and Roissy are right. And the sad thing is, a more mature lady CAN get a Good Man, IF she really carries herself well. The problem today is, well, aside from the simple fact that Good Men of just about any age are in seriously short supply, that a wholesale throwing out the “Class” baby with the bathwater, and far too many mature ladies thinking they can do the same thing at 40-plus they could at 20. It’s a really sad sight to see quite frankly. An older Woman can make for a great lay, but she’s gotta go about it the right way to make that happen. Many of them just do not know how much of a TURN OFF they can be to guys, because their strongarm tactics, coupled with their declining beauty and increasing age makes for a downright ghastly situation.
Anyway, thanks for the comments, and welcome aboard!
The Obsidian
PA
I would happily do all of what you have suggested, as would a number of others my age and older (late twenties). And the women I speak of are not feminists, are religiously observant (in this case Catholic), are intelligent and want to be stay at home mums. But where are these decent guys 8-12 years older than us? Heck, I dated one of these guys a few months ago. On the first date his mother called him 3 times to find out when he was coming home. He changed his opinion to whatever mine was on every topic. When, after three dates, I said I just wasn’t interested in that way, he cried. Real tears. What is a girl supposed to do? I’m telling you PA – as a woman you cannot just go out there and pick a guy. You have to wait for a decent one to present himself and then decide to woo you.
Aussie Girl.
I agree with you there are very few good men out there. In Australia, I reckon the last bastions of real manhood are found in the country towns and the working class suburbs. The problem with these guys though is usually they lack polish or tend towards the thuggish end of the spectrum. I’d be looking for country boys with a degree of education or a successful trade. Failing that, second generation Australians from Eastern European ancestry; generally speaking these guys have the right mix. They’re like Englishmen and Americans from the 20’s and 30’s. Look, there are losers in this bunch as well but your odds of finding quality are higher.
I can’t speak to the situation in Australia, but in the US it seems to me there is a surplus of decent guys, albeit many need help shaking off their beta-miseducation.
The apparent shortage of women here I ascribe to the obesity epidemic. As I recall in my teens, there were TONS of attractive girls, especially among lower class whites. You could go to a low-end food service place or grocery store, and see very attractive albeit gaudily dressed women serving the register, etc. Today, they are all gone. Either faaaaat, or replaced by Central American female immigrants.
Is the female obesity situation better in Australia?
“As for Pitt, I don’t think he’d have too much trouble hooking up with a considerably younger gal should things go splitsville between him and Jolie. Could Jillian score a guy Pitt’s age or younger, of comparable good looks, etc? To ask the question is to answer it.”………………
Again, Could Angelina score a Pitt’s age or younger, of comparable good looks should things go splitsville??? To ask the question is to answer it.
DADT,
I don’t know why you keeping bringing up Jolie. The issue was 40-plus aged Women, not Women like Jolie, who still has some years to go before she hits that age. Could she score an Orlando Bloom type? Probably, but could Jillian do it? I think we both know the answer to that one.
The Obsidian
Hi Obsidian,
I’ve been trying to read your blog off and on this past week to catch up. Congrats on a successful start!
This post was excellent. I wish more men would take the time to look at things from the female perspective. By reading Roissy and other blogs, I’ve improved my perspective of the male experience so much. In fact, I don’t think I would have as much acceptance of the Guy I’m with now if I hadn’t been reading Roissy and Roosh for so long. Leading to…
@Keith
Yes… yes! This is what I’ve been struggling with for a while. If a girl manages to get a guy who has been very successful with women and has no problem getting more women, that are hotter and younger, it brings up new problems. For me, that’s mainly the idea of will he settle for me? Is his love real? How can he truly feel I am as special as he says I am, when he’s been with so many women before?
Women want the Alpha, but they want security too. Women do have a brain they think with, not just tingles (like this post talks about). If a guy is really great but it seems like he’ll just break your heart in the most crushing blow ever soon, most girls might float away.
I shouldn’t have said most girls float away by the way. I think some girls will float away… or at least doubt the “Alpha” guy they are with. It’s complicated… because it’s all a risk, no?
@ aussie girl In this sense, I relate about not finding older men. I tried for a looong time. I have a guy I am very happy with, but again and again I have fear that our age similarity is going to become an issue soon. That and the fact that he used to be a player (maybe he still is?
)…
OK, I’m making less and less sense sense now. Basically I liked this post, it described the inner conflict and world of women well.
“For me, that’s mainly the idea of will he settle for me? Is his love real? How can he truly feel I am as special as he says I am, when he’s been with so many women before?”
You’re missing the point. Many so-called “alphas” just aren’t any good at being husbands. They are good at manipulating feelings, but not good at the virtues that make for a relationship. They couldn’t even be a good husband if they wanted to. Many women marry the “alpha,” and then have a crappy marriage and divorce him.
I’ve known women who will have flings with men who have some alpha traits, but those women still regard the guy as kind of a joke. A large fraction of women seem pretty good at distinguishing between “good for fun” and “good for the long-term.”
LSB, to put a fine point on it: For many so-called “alphas,” they’d be a crappy husband and father even if they didn’t have options. They just don’t have what it takes.
I see what you’re saying but some of it’s bullshit. Women, yes, have more fear of STD’s, pregnancy, rape, etc. But I’d actually give a shit if they acted out of that concern more often. Seems to me if they really worried about these things, they wouldn’t be having sex with alphas they barely know. Seems to me if they really were concerned, they’d search for a “nice guy” in a relationship where they don’t have to worry about those things.
So I don’t feel sorry for women at all. They have these issues, but they act stupidly and not out of the best concern for their health and safety. I say this much more about white women. Black women have special issues dealing with the AIDS rate in the black community.
If casual sex is so dangerous for them, they shouldn’t be doing it. Enough said.
PA
Obesity levels in women in Australia largely depends on where you are. The circles that I move in (Catholic, educated, conservative) have slender girls in the majority. There are a few larger ones but they dont make up even half the numbers. Many are less than fashionable but I don’t think this is a bad thing altogether.
These girls want a strong man though. Part of their conservative, Catholic principles is that the man will be the head of the family and lead her and their children. Few men are willing or able to do this. Many seem like they WANT to be henpecked because then they don’t have to make decisions. What is up with that?
came over via In Mala Fide. Good read, good points and hope to see this post parts two and three someday as well!
Mondays are the worst days to reply to posts like yours obs. After a weekend of being rewarded for aloofness and arrogance, and once again watching the choices women make, it is hard not to 100% side with Jack two posts above.
This is still not even close to getting shot down 5-6 times. Yes I agree that rejection is part of life, nothing will happen if you dont risk it, but no, woman getting approached 5-6 times a week is not comparable to the average man getting shot down week after week.
It is like a Ferrari driver complaining to a Yugo driver that his car starts shaking when it reaches 250 kmh.
At least she is assessed for what she is, not who she can attract. (preselection)
Like a commenter mentioned up somewhere that women can easily discern between “good for fun”, “good for commitment” guys, a guy good for fun will not really see that quoted phrase of yours in life.
Well the so said “double standard” does ahve a balancing “double standard” in the form of most men not having the otion of having “having a revolving door of lovers” at any point in their lives.
And choosing the guys who have the most risk for carrying STD’s as sexual partners does not help.
Do agree on this one, in context of the subconscious.
Choices. Compare that now to having no choice.
So, choose wisely.
Rape should be punished.
Having said that, why do I then see many girls choosing the guys that are most likely to rape them, over the decent, quality, long term prospects?
(Since I am having good time with the ladies, I resorted to observing in my free time)
100% agree.
You want a good package, you present a good package.
Once you present a good package, then you also enjoy your raised standards.
Once again you are confusing male and female sexuality.
While men are supposed to do all that stuff, they are shooting for girls on the same level, +/- 1.
Women spend all that time and effort because they, at their peak are shooting for guys levels +2/+3 of their own.
Well, if you aim high, you also got to work for it.
That is how I see it. No sympathy.
Still, almost no man will reach the attention an average woman got in her peak, except the few percentages of men who make it to “insert success(including game)”.
See, obs, that is why women are supposed to find a man who will be with her in her older years, when she is still young and has youth and nubility to offer for a few years.
If women fall off the cliff at forty or so, that is not my problem, nor do I need any sympathy, if they wasted their younger years jumping from flower to flower.
They had their chances.
The men who later in life get to be more attractive than their youth are the ones who worked damn hard to get there (except a few outliers).
Men with fame are the exception.
Still fewer men in their forties are attractive compared to women in their 30’s. Yes, a different age group, but the comparison is legitimate.
It can be overcome by being an appreciating, supporting and loving man in her youth and in her age.
I have seen it in the older couples in my family.
At age 70, the men still look at their wives with adoration.
Why?
they did not behave like the modern western independent creatures walking the earth today.
They respected their husbands. they appreciated their husbands. Loved, cherished, supported, and gave families to their husbands.
So the fall from youth did not end in total worthlessness, as their worth to the husbands was as a life companion, not as an independent entity having sex.
Men would not be bitter if the women then would not demand from the same men to pick up the tab once the ladies are old enough to settle.
Please do not compare the modern lotharios to Lord Byron. you’re insulting him.
But we will pay the price, or reap the rewards, or possibly both.
True dat.
Men need to “man up” for the sake of their own lives.
Now, nothing good to come out of expecting other people pay for your choices, or even respect them.
After learning to utilize preselection, this is the second thing a man needs to learn. Know who will be into him, select his targets correctly.
100% agree.
You got to know these.
My beef is that I got this feeling of excusing them of their behavior/choices.
That is why I put this much time into this reply.
Really does not take much time if you decide to fully accept the consequences of taking the red pill.
Like a flash, everything suddenly is clear.
Obs:
“Now, let’s consider similarly-aged Women… But how many guys can be heard pining away for any of them NOW?”
At least one! Honestly, don’t automatically harsh on older women or assume they have no fans. Once a man has had a few Playmates and Barbies, the next one is kind of … dull, if that’s all she has to offer. After a time, maybe less time than you think, character in a woman’s looks becomes hotter than tautness. Seriously. Women I would easily trade Megan Fox for include Sandra Bullock, Allison Janney, Emma Thompson, Meg Ryan, and a host of others.
So, while a woman’s departing Barbie-dom may lower her appeal in the eyes of a number of men, believe that there are at least a few men who find post-Barbie to be more attractive.
Yesterday, after I left the comment, went to have a short and intensive training, which cleared my head. My reply will not be complete without me adding the following:
Even though the Bible and almost all other social text are warning men of women, telling men to lead, telling women to submit etc, they are not talking about the modern woman.
They are talking about a different kind of woman.
A woman who had no condoms except the unreliable pig intestine condoms, they had no birth control pill, there was no cure for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and such. There was no reliable abortion.
A woman of those times was a woman they way nature intended, the way nature put restraints on.
Woman, in this nature, would especially have adhered to your point #2.
Also a man could just impregnate a woman, and change village, possibly not to be found again. Today they’ll find you around the globe, and make you pay.
In the past, men had no option, usually society made the made take care of the children and the wife. women had no option to give birth to the baby. then they could throw it to the thames, drop it off at a church. But let’s not call these viable options either.
Today women have options. Shitloads of options. for which the man has no say, and in many cases has to pay.
could not find the verification, but the famous Casanova should have had around 100 lovers, and the Don Juan also around that number somewhere.
Today, even the sleaziest douchebag can reach that number by the age of 25, without dedicating all his time to seduction like the two legends did.
What changed are not the skills of the men involved, but the women’s behavior.
To the post you have written, I would totally have agreed if we were talking about 100 years ago, but today, female behavior negates most points in your post.
We are not dealing with women as mankind has known for eons,
We are dealing with technologically enhanced mutated bionic million dollar empowered irresponsible babes.
Still babes, still good for a shag, but deserving none of the sympathy and understanding I would have shown towards any of the women in my ancestral blood line.
If Bible warned men about women 2000 years ago, I imagine that if it were to be written today, it would urge men cease communication with women, no matter what.
”DADT,
I don’t know why you keeping bringing up Jolie. The issue was 40-plus aged Women, not Women like Jolie,”
…..
Jolie S 40, or pretty damn close. You can see it in her face. Still very attractive, but signs of ageing (better than Brad) are there.
So why do you insist on comparing an over-weight 40 something woman (Jillian) who is no longer considered good looking to many men, to a physically fit 40 something male (Pitt) who is still considered good looking to many women?
Compare him to women in his own league, like his wife (they are married now, right?)
Oh, and Jillian is in her 50s, not 40s.
DADT,
Please try and follow me here. All’s I’m saying is, that an older Man who’s taken care of himself can and will, all other things being equal, get more younger female attention, than the other way around. It’s always been that way, it will always be thus. That there are notable exceptions only proves to strengthen the rule, not obliterate it.
Methinks you’re just being contrarian just to be contrarian.
Jolie was born in 1975. She is not 40 yet. And yea, I’ve mentioned Jillian’s year of birth.
The Obsidian
Jolie is closer to Pitt’s age than Jillian is to Pitt’s age. And sorry, but she looks older than as if she were “born” in ‘75. Though she still looks very good, don’t get me wrong.
And I keep HEARING this about older women but I’m just not SEEING it. Most of the currently un-married (divorced) women I know over the age of 40 are dating (and getting engaged to) men up to 10 years younger. Who knows? Maybe it’s the location or the demographic. But this is what’s going on here.
I even have a 38 year old friend who is married to a 22 years young man.
None of these are the bar-hopping types, so maybe the bar scene is different. But outside of it, the NORM is older woman/younger man, at least in my ‘hood.
Actually DADT, Pitt is about midway between Jillian and Jolie in terms of age; check their birthdates.
Moreover, as I’ve said before, I live in Philly and spend a lot of time out in NYC and NJ, and I JUST DON’T SEE MANY YOUNG MEN UNDER THE AGE OF 30, CHASING DOWN WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF 40. Now of course, there could be lots of booty calls going down on the downlow, but just being out and about with each other, on some lovey dovey ish? Nah. Now, from your email addy, I take it you’re down in Florida, and it is very possible that things could be different down there. Since I also happen to know a few folk from down there, I’ll ask them and see what they say. But even if you and they are correct, it still doesn’t kill the basic rule. Sorry.
The Obsidian
“I JUST DON’T SEE MANY YOUNG MEN UNDER THE AGE OF 30, CHASING DOWN WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF 40″……..
I don’t see that either. But I do see 50 year old women with 40 year old men, and 36 year old women with 28 year old men, and 33 year old women with 25 year old men, and one 38 year old woman with a 22 year old man!
But 48 and 21? Naw, haven’t see that either.
Get some perspective, Obs.
DADT,
Again: Down there in FL things may indeed be different. But like I said, I spend my time in three important cultural locales, and I simply do not see that which you’re talking about. So could it be that what you’re seeing is the aberration, not the rule? Hmm?
Furthermore, you don’t know me well enough to tell me what I do and don’t “need”. I don’t have an axe to grind against older Women and have said so many times before, including over at Roissy’s and was often the lone voice to say so. What I’m saying isn’t personal, but observational, again based on my locale which is admittedly different than yours.
Who’s the one who really needs a bit of perspective here?
The Obsidian
First, thank you so much for writing this article, Obsidian. I started reading your blog after Susan Walsh at Hookingupsmart linked to you — I post under the same name there. I’ll start reading your other material too, and maybe that of those other bloggers Roissy or Roosh.
One comment I have to this poster: “Obsidian, I think one of the reasons why beta guys are upset at women going for the bad boys and the other alphas is because the women have the power to act on their desires and they don’t. Joe the gameless schmuck is not in a million years going to get the hottie, but his plain Jane counterpart CAN get the brooding alpha hunk, even if only as a second-string booty call. It’s envy, plain and simple.”
But the problem is that women don’t WANT random sex with a hot guy. They want a relationship. It’s like women saying to guys: I’m so jealous of you! You can ask any of these women you’ve slept with for a relationship anytime you want! Lucky!
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